Not running today. I've told you how I find this quite hard before, and today it really is difficult. Nothing palpable, just a horrible gnawing feeling within that keeps telling me I'm so "bad" today. Haven't done enough, haven't been healthy/useful/good/perfect enough. It's a surprisingly strong voice. But I need to block it out. I can't fall into a cycle where I need to exercise every single day of the week in order to feel okay about myself. Especially now with exams coming up. Since I refuse to let exercise take any time away from my work (being somewhat of an over-achiever and perfectionist when it comes to my studies... okay, a massive perfectionist), I tend to cut down on sleep to get time to exercise. And in the long run, even I can see that isn't going to do me any favours for the exams...
Therefore, you evil little voice screaming inside of me: NO. I'm not going to go running today. I look forward to a nice run tomorrow, but today I'm resting. That's healthy and normal and good for me. And you keep telling me I haven't been "useful" today therefore..? Well, instead of running I'll spend an hour in the sun with a friend. And I'll work hard with revision, since I'm really starting to feel a bit stressed. Those are genuinely "good" things for me, too. Stop being so black and white about everything. Just because I'm not running doesn't mean I'm not doing anything worthwhile. I just need to start prioritising myself, and realise that giving yourself time for yourself, time to rest and to interact socially is just as valuable as exercising- probably MORE valuable.
x
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