Running eye candy

You might have gathered by now that I enjoy my morning runs, but today's run was particularly great. There I was, just breathing along, not really into anything but the rhythm of my own steps or my iPod's lovely company. And then, all of a sudden, I notice the cutest pair of legs about ten meters away from me. Or maybe cute is the wrong adjective here. Manly, well-defined muscles, just a little bit hairy, tanned.

The past few years, ever since I got my ED, I've essentially been on temporary leave from the whole dating scene. There have been some guys, and usually being romantically involved has been extremely good for me. It makes me motivated, want to eat well again and gain weight to that healthy person that used to be me. But apart from a few successes, I've been pretty locked up into myself and had very little interest in guys, or self-confidence to pursue them for that matter.

So maybe it's very high-school to write about this in my blog here today, but whenever I do have moments when I feel the least bit interested, romantic, emotional or sexual, I see that as a very good sign. It makes me happy to know I'm NOT dead inside. I've just been resting.

Therefore, I just enjoyed it this morning. I had to speed up a bit to keep up with the guy, so that was an added bonus. I found extra reserves and ran faster than I normally do, finally returning home feeling very pleasantly tired. And while I was running there behind him, I just had to laugh. I was literally chasing after a guy. Or maybe chasing after love rather, because of course this guy wasn't anything but a representation of love and romance for me. But I know that I feel really lonely sometímes, and that I do long for intimacy. I think I've broken far enough out of my anorexia to start wanting more. I'm getting hungry for life. And I love how this morning reminded me so clearly of that fact.

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