Procrastination...

As you know, I'm in the middle of my revision period. So much fun... or not. Every day is the same. It's basically all about getting up, working as much as you possibly can, and crash into bed when your eyes won't stay open any longer.

I try to do other things as well, to stay sane. Watch a bit of tv. Have coffee with a friend. Go for a run. Phone home. But evenings can get tough. I just want to kick back and relax, but that's when I need to find motivation for those last two hours of work. It's not easy.

I've worked quite well during the day today. I want to finish strong too, so I'll put in another couple of hours now and try to really focus. Hey- it could be worse. I'm not bingeing- isn't that amazing? Two weeks free today. Absolutely fantastic. Bingeing was a great way to distract myself from work, but then all that guilt and disgust came from it... and the next day I spent waaaay too much time atoning for my "sins"- going out for an extra long run, thinking about food, planning food, and then in the end giving in to the next binge. Feeling even worse of course as I did so.

I'm not bingeing now. But I realise I find something instead of the bingeing to make me feel okay about work. There was a reason for my eating. It fulfilled a purpose, even if it did so badly. I need to have something else to comfort me when I feel unmotivated or need to focus on myself. Just not as destructive as the overeating. Tonight's feel-good will be the promise of relaxation. At eleven, I'll call it a day and stop working. I'll watch some tv- really curious about The Hills- is it any good? Or maybe just Two and a Half Men or Friends or something. And I'll put on a nice face mask and just sit and breathe with it. And then I'll go to bed and read a chapter of my book- which I really enjoy! (tell you about it as soon as I've finished it)- before I drift off. I sleep like a baby these days, which I'm so grateful for.

So with this lovely evening planned ahead, all I need to do is focus for a little while longer on work. That shouldn't be too hard.

Lots of love to all of you.

x